Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Thoughts on survival

Yesterday the temperature was only 106 tops. With a mild boiling breeze. Shimmering heat waves rise from the ground, making the world look ready to spontaneously combust. Here is shimmering hot Frieda.

The cat was under the bed upstairs in the afternoon, spreading herself as flat as possible until through a molecular degeneration process she began transforming into a dust bunny. I couldn’t watch anymore, so finally used a tool to scrape her up, like a pancake with a lot of cat hairs in it, and brought her down to the basement where we’ve been cowering in fair comfort for the last three days. The tile floor that many warned us would be too cold is our savior.

A friend reported meeting a visitor from Nigeria who told her yesterday, “I come from a country that is much cooler than this.”

Was just told that our area is going to be 100 again today, despite the fog that socks in Santa Cruz and makes it most of the way up the mountain. Too bad for us suckers up here above the fogline.

Well, here’s a new strategy to beat the heat. Since changing the world is proving to be such a bureaucratic nightmare, I propose that instead we start from within, and each personally evolve at an increased speed into lizards. Or devolve, depending how you look at it. Tanning salons on a hot day are a great place to begin. Visualize yourself as a fresh apricot puckering in a fruit dryer.

Another fun recipe from the ranch, perfect for this weather:

Dog Popsicles

1 carton chicken or beef broth
Other tidbits and/or leftovers

Mix broth and other ingredients in a bowl. Blend in blender (optional). Pour into popsicle makers and freeze. Offer to your family or friends for a good chuckle.